Resolution

Can we just ignore the fact that it has been a month since I last blogged?? I have about 618 pictures to document. I will definitely weed them out, but please Bear (Bare?) with me while I try to catch up....

I wasn't sure where to begin, so I decided I would start off with my goal for the 2010 (really??) year.

I personally love January. I love the time of reflection, inspiration, and need for self improvement. I love getting out that clean sheet of paper and filling it up with all the goals I'm going to achieve over the next 365. I love how afterwards I walk away already feeling like a new person... imagining how over the next 12 months I will mysteriously evolve into a kinder, healthier, best mother ever, piano playing, six pack- killer abs kind of a person. Yep. I love January!! The only down fall is that every new year I am reminded that I NEVER accomplished the goals I set for the previous year. It's true. My goals never make it past the paper. I mean what was I thinking with last year's

• floss regularly and
• learn to crochet

I think I flossed three times all year (miracle I have never had a cavity), and I bought a crochet book from JoAnn's (never touched it). 

So with these failures, I have decided to scale back and only set ONE goal. I have been thinking, reflecting, and (not to get too relief society on you) praying lots about it. I have had quite a few things pop into my head...the usual workout everyday, eat organic, read scriptures for an hour daily, learn a new language (not really), become a yogi etc. Of course, none of these have held up, so I continued to narrow down what I really wanted to accomplish this year... 

My answer came a couple of weeks ago when Shawn and I took all three kids to Applebee's for dinner (pause for some admiration...thank you). The kids were being crazy as usual, and I was starting to sweat as I noticed some dirty looks. An older couple sitting in a booth next to us were getting the brunt of our chaos, and I felt a little guilty that we were destroying their night out. While I was trying to nurse (what else?) and Shawn was preoccupied calming down Lex, I noticed the Rockstar leaning over his seat into theirs. He was yelling/singing and I'm pretty sure I saw him poke the woman in the head with his french fry. ((Oh no! Why did we even attempt this??)) I said one of those little prayers that this couple had had kids once upon a time, and more importantly, actually remembered what it was like. The woman turned around and smiled (phew) and played little games with Roscoe for the next ten minutes while we shoved food into our mouths. Bless her! As we were leaving, apologizing, and thanking this sweet couple, they said something that struck me so hard. 

 "You will miss these years so much. Enjoy every second, because I promise you it all goes entirely too fast." 

I couldn't stop thinking about it for the next few nights while I held gretta completely sleep deprived....Enjoy it. Of course, that wasn't the first time I had heard that line. I think every depleted mother has heard it over a hundred times. Usually, it makes me a little annoyed when some well rested 50 something tells me this. Makes me want to hand over (or throw) my screaming 2 year old who won't eat, whiny preschooler yanking on my arm, and baby that will not sleep and tell them to go ahead and enjoy(!) while I go get a pedicure (or heck just go to wal mart by myself). But this time I really heard what they were saying and I believed it. It is all going way too fast. I can't believe I am a mother of three, and I have a little one who will be headed to Kindergarden soon (sniff). My life feels a little on fast forward, and I feel so spread thin with three children, each needing all of me. I know that I enjoy most days, but recently I have found myself making empty promises while I try to get all the cooking, cleaning, feeding, errands, and socializing done. At the end of the day I feel awful that we never got to the play dough or library books. So with all this reflecting, I have decided that this year I will try to focus each day on the present. I think I will wrestle more and pretend monsters, play lots of candyland and bake cookies, and spend more time in the rocker adoring the cutest babe in creation. I am going to try to stop all the "just a minutes" and "hold ons" and try to remember that one day I am going to miss all the tugging on my arm, sleepless nights, and complete chaos. choke. I better stop before the tears come. I'll just keep it simple....

Kristin's 2010 Goals:

• Enjoy it.

(and maybe get some killer abs too) :)

P.S. Roscoe swallowed a penny the other day...still waiting for its debut...enjoying....